Fashionable Bushes for Sleeping in Parks

September 4, 2013

by Blair Adams

You can camouflage your little hut in the park with green paint and branches all you want to, but the police seem to always have a way of finding it. Fortunately, many garden supply shops now sell attractive artificial bushes and shrubs that are excellent for sleeping in parks and are barely detectable.

Made of the same material as artificial turf, these abodes can stand up to virtually any weather condition and are also very light, making them easily transportable from place to place.

Live-in bushes are a good place to wind down after a hard day's work.

Live-in bushes are a good place to wind down after a hard day’s work.

That’s good news for many low-wage workers, who are now the fastest growing sector of the U.S. labor force. Many of these workers struggle with the high costs of transportation and housing, so these bushes are a low-cost option that allows them to live close to work and greatly reduce their expenses.

Darryl McNulty, 35, a cashier at a Gap clothing outlet in Los Angeles, lives with his parents in Whittier, about 12 miles away, and sleeps in a local park. “It’s easy,” he says. “I just get to work early to brush my teeth in the bathroom; then I go home on weekends. I make twice as much as if I had a car and had to pay for gas. The only thing you really need to worry about is the dogs. Once this big Borzoi lifted his leg on me, but for the most part, it’s been great.”

And because in some parts of the country parks are few and far between, these bushes are ideal for squatting in shopping malls, around office buildings and streets.

“Nobody really notices” said Tom Ricci, 23, who recently graduated from the University of Virginia and is an intern at a consulting firm. “Although someone tried to water and fertilize me once.”

In spite of the drawbacks, these nifty little bushes are swiftly becoming a creative path to upward mobility. “I’m going to use mine as a Christmas tree, come December,” said Mr. Ricci. “And this time I’ll be able to afford presents.”

Blair Adams is the editor of Downsized Living.

All Downsized Living blog posts are fictitious and satirical. Any resemblance to real persons is coincidental and unintentional.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: